This little piece of literary nonsense was conceived in exasperation.
I’ve lived in Australia for 25 years, and although it's a great place to live, it's like every other country ... it's got many good points, but it’s NOT a Garden of Eden, as the propagandists in the tourism industry would have everyone believe.
The tourism marketers go into overdrive whenever they write about Australia - perpetual sunshine, pristine beaches, barbies every night, wombats waddling their way around the suburbs and a zero crime rate - and it's easy to get the impression that Australia is the only civilised place left on the face of the Earth.
I didn’t set out to denigrate Australia with this ridiculous story, but I thought it would be a good idea to perhaps put the record straight and show Australia how it REALLY is - warts and all - the idea being that IF Australia really is just about perfect (as the marketers would have us believe), then perhaps God was an AUSTRALIAN and maybe, therefore, it's AUSTRALIANS who are the real biblical Chosen People.
When Minerva Press in London were considering publishing this little book a few years ago, they described it as having "a delightful lack of political correctness" which, I think, was a way of saying that it was rude, sacrilegious, racist, mysogonistic, homophobic & plain silly ... which it is - but which makes it sort of special, because not even D.H. Lawrence would have been able to brag about having a single book with ALL those qualities at once.
But, despite their enthusiasm, it was never published in book form, and perhaps it's just as well because I could do without a Christian 'fatwah' being pronounced upon me.
And, to that end, I’d better warn anybody who might be offended at the ‘religious’ aspects of this little book, that it may be better if you don’t read any further than this!
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Chapter 1 - The Creation
